Oh the pain. Not the
physical, but the mental. And the physical too.
I love my brother. So do my
parents. He is sometimes a riddle, not to be solved. Many times, he is an open
book, nothing to solve. Its hard to figure out what his current condition is.
He didn’t have his way with his life, or he did, whichever way you want to look
at it. He was a merit student, and then he got a good job. However, it was just
not the job that he wanted. So, he took the high way and tried his hand. He
went all in. Fate called. He lost. We all paid, smiling. Then he smiled at
fate, came back home and started at ground zero again. Never complaining.
He got married last month.
And I did not care much for it. But my brother was in again. So I did not mind.
Now, marriage is shitty business. Because you got to deal with a lot of shitty
people. And you got to deal with them for a proper two months. I didn’t have
the time. I could take part of the burden only for a couple of weeks or less.
So my parents bore it on their aging shoulders. I didn’t have a choice but to
watch them struggle when I couldn’t help. When I could, I tried my best to give
them some sort of support. As is always the case, it just wasn’t enough. And
they were anyways not willing to walk with a walking stick. No, not yet. So, we
all struggled, facing insults from people not worth looking at. We fed the
whole lot and got it done with. We had some memorable times and enjoyed some of
it while it lasted. The marriage was not a disaster. That said, we were
relieved more than anything else once it was over. All of us, including my
brother. We learn a lot about people
when we need them. Because they cannot conceal anymore. They either show up
& help, or they do not. Either ways, you know their true value. And we
learnt a lot about people that one week of my brothers marriage. Maybe the hard
way, but hey, we are wiser for it now. The only problem left now is that of my
brothers. He must become a married man. To bear the weight of knowing that
someone is waiting at home for him, so he better not be too late. He needs to
keep that job because he will need the goddamn money now.
Every commitment is a little
of your independence reduced. Irrespective of whether the commitment is wilful
or forced. That is a harsh way to put it, but that is simply a fact, stripped
of all words like emotions, family, love and sacrifice. They exist and I am not
exception. But irrespective of me or anyone else, it is a fact that, to promise
a second of your life to someone else – as much as it is a necessity to live a
complete life – is to have a second less to pursue your selfish goals, hence a
little less of independence. So those people better be worth the little pieces
of you that you are buying them with..