At the Tal

There is Sulochana Devi at Deoria Tal. 

A mountain woman. Never travelled south. Never knew what it is to be a city woman.

All she cares about is her family and her god. 

When she asks me for my travel bag, all she thinks about is how useful it would be for her. It is a useful bag afterall. 

What does she know of all that this bag has been through with me. Maybe just give her some money to help out. This bag, I should keep. 

This bag has been my only companion on treks that never ended.

It hung around in places I had no business being. 

This bag has carried stuff I would've died without.

A bag is not just a bag. It is everything that it has been made with. Everyone who touched it, and everyone else.

I may end up buying a new one, just as cute or ever better. But it will not be like this one.

Not sure if anything can really replace this. 

But this one - I should give up. 

Talk Big

When you talk, talk about the big things. Or don't talk at all

When you talk, talk about ideas, not events
When you talk about events, talk about the very best
And at any rate, keep the people out

If at all you should talk, talk silly
Like how everything is beautiful, with a capital B
Like how a child's laughter fills a room
Like why you still look back on that dark day
Or why a certain shady hotel is memorable
Maybe somethings louder than others, you know

If you want to make a moment count, talk about the beautiful stuff
Like sunsets and candle light dinners
Holiday plans for the next few years
Bucket lists long forgotten
The latest sensation in Indie rock
Or why Blackwater Park is the best Opeth song
Or why Blackwater Park is the best song, ever
talk poetry man
Damn, write poetry

If you really want to talk, right,
Talk about the ideas you care about
How a certain way of looking at reality makes it almost bearable
How existentialism is all good, but it only asks a good question afterall
That the answer is there but you are not there yet
And god forbid you actually find what you are seeking deep, deep, down

But fuck my hypocrisy, talk whatever man
Talk about reality shows, If you have a fool to take it
Talk like a man of gold, if you can fake it
Talk whatever man, just not to me

If you want to pass time, talk events
But make sure you twist them enough
Make memory more dramatic, dreams more realistic, and women more beautiful, always
Definitely have an affair gone bad
Mountains make for good stories too, especially if you almost killed yourself climbing one

So you know, so much to talk about
If that's really what you want to do
But gods, please keep the people to a minimum

Some Evenings

Some evenings are made to smoke a cigarette and think in
Some evenings, to work away
Some evenings are to watch a good film
Some evenings, like this one, are made to drown in

So I drown in this one, cos' it seems like the perfect one
I will drown in this one and I won’t care where I will resurface
I will resurface somewhere my future meets my fate
I will resurface where fate seems to interest me again

But I promise, I won’t judge fate when it shows up
I only ask that it show up with a twinkle in an eye
Something worth a background score
I won’t ask for too much, just not another bore

Some evenings, I feel like I’ve grown too old
I wrap up between the sheets, to rest my bones
I sometimes lie awake, thinking of old times
I sometimes sleep like a baby, assured of times to come

Some evenings, I am just happy with what I have
I smile and dance at the fortune that I am
I don’t bother sleeping, I don't even yawn
I stay up late, dancing to the dawn

And what about the times whiled away on Goan beaches
Crying to sunsets and trying to save small fish
These fish, they escaped too late
So they struggle on the sands, waiting for redemption or death

It feels like there is a part of me in them
Afraid that this is already it
Yet there is hope and I seek it
Dreams so big, I can't even speak it

Anyways, I drift around these evenings
Living in the moment is a cheap thrill it seems
There are achievements still to come by
More important things, did pass by

The Same?

Someone said after looking at an old FB post, "The fucker looks the same as five years back"

Of course, that's the advantage of setting up a low bar. No hair to shed and not much weight to lose.
I still prefer black tees nor is the expression on my face in need of changing. The same equanimous smile year after year. Despite all that happened over the years and decades. Equanimous? Indifferent?  Whatever.

The point remains - in many ways, it's more of the same the more it changes. Life is just not the same from years back. Priorities changed. People changed. Experiences changed and places changed. Maybe not the places - I still haven't relocated to the South Goan beaches, there is time for that yet. Damn but, what has really changed? Fundamentally?

There were people who'd light up my face with a silly expression a decade back. I used to think losing them would be a tragedy. Turns out, not really. Call me an asshole but losing people doesn't hurt, not as much as people make out. The trick is to listen to a lot of Alan Watts.

That FB pic has such a crazy-fuck back story, that even I am surprised at how little an impact the whole episode had on me. It is but a small glitch in the matrix of a very secured life so far, despite all the drama that I may portray.

And new people have taken up old places to fill in the voids with better than expected outcomes. not to brag but I am too chilled out to take the changes too seriously, not when there isn't much lost on the balance. You may call me selfish but I will call out your hypocrisy and we will end up with another argument with unsatisfactory conclusions. Not worth it. So we will just say I am awesome for moving on swiftly.

Flowing like water, eh.

Our Time Will Come

Our time will come in a few days
Or maybe after ten years
But our time, it will come, have no fears

We will grow and we will glow
Life will be ours for the taking
and Life, it will be ours for the living

Maybe that day is today, but maybe not
Today is perhaps for mourning
To remember the lost, and for crying

Maybe today is for nostalgia
Bright days and darker nights
Times, lost even to memories, of so much life and brighter lights

Perhaps it is for sorrow
For those who lived their last
And for those who still, with regrets, last

For those who are left behind
Beyond the bridges burnt out of spites
Or just for the wrongs or rights

Because nothing lasts forever nor do no-one
But they leave behind their prints and their traces
of light worth more than the candles burnt, of their smiles and their graces

Traces sticking like dry greases onto our shirts and trousers
Not relevant anymore, yet a missing piece in the core
An unused guitar with a string broken, a sorry never really told

For all that, there is still the present moment to live out
Too noisy to call it heaven, too rich for hell
It defies names, because there is story yet to tell

And the future needs to be looked forward to, too
So gather your hopes for the rough journey
To fight the darkness within with purpose and glory

Purpose is a stupid concept, yet has its uses too
Like stories need to be told, because they have their uses too
And so time has a purpose too, to come when it chooses to

Life can have a purpose too, for what that's worth
But better to have some fun while at it I'd say
Better make those memories worth some tears at the end of the day

Hampi Diary - Dec 2020

There are these seeds. They've been bad for me before, but why not give it another try? The three Bangalore guys I met here yesterday promise me it will be one hour of pure hell, meaning nausea emanating from the knots in your guts. These seeds are not meant it be in your stomach afterall. 

But, and it's a pretty big but, they say that hell is definitely worth the trip you will ride for the next several hours. And just like that, I am sold. Afterall, I am all about taking calculated risks and won't miss out on a good looking strike, especially now that I have willing partners for the crime.

        This trip to Sanapur village, near Hampi, is seven days through now. It will last another five days. I am travelling solo, As I do on many of my trips. It isn't always by choice but it is this time. What with all that went on the last year or so, and not just the pandemic either, this tour was definitely in the coming.

There are two dimensions to Hampi. What you mean by a trip to Hampi can mean totally different things depending on which side of the Tungabhadra river you are talking about. A saying goes "Thunga pana Ganga snana" which either means one should drink the water of river Thunga and take bath in river Ganga, or that drinking Thunga's water is as good as taking bath in the Ganga. Well whatever, I definitely drank enough of that water to cover both interpretations.

Anyways, the great river flows from East to West and the main Hampi, which has the world famous heritage sites and the holy Virupaksha Temple, is on the Southern bank. The old temples and ruins are a thing of beauty obviously so check it all out. There are lots of resources online to read about the history and legend of these ruins. One suggestion is to take your time with the ancient structures and their architecture and aesthetics. You can cover them all in a day. You will take three if you really mean to experience the place rather than take status pics. If that comes across as unkind, it will help to know that I completely skipped visiting the main Hampi this time round, so I am not the one to point my fingers.

            The other side of Hampi, and more fun side if you ask me is the Hippi island (or even Hampi island). It lies to the north of the Tungabhadra and is now DEMOLISHED. Yep, gone forever. All the beautifully designed cafes, the rusty huts which can hold no more than one person in them, the abundance of super-chill vibe all around. All of them gone now. It was the place where foreigners came and settled down for a week, or six months. The famous sunset point still exists and the sun still sets, just not many people watching it set. Long story short, it was illegal, the Supreme Court allowed the Government to run bulldozers over the whole region and a thing of beauty is no more. Well, almost.

The people who ran the shacks on the Island have moved to nearby places along the rivers' northern shore. There are tens of shacks spread across the Anegundi - Sanapur road now. In fact Sanapur itself has 12 shacks by my count, offering pretty much the same natural and refreshing vibe, surrounded by paddy fields and a stone throw away from the river itlsef in many cases, or within walking distance from the Sanapur Lake - a place where Sunrises are so grand, you will sleep early for it!

I will wax poetic about the beauty of this place for the next fourty pages because that is the whole point of why you are going there. Just kidding, I am not being paid for writing this. But just know this:

"The only Zen you can find on the mountaintops, is the Zen you bring there with you". 

"Hippi Hampi" doesn't give you much - it gives you nature, space and calm but not much in the way of entertainment. It is the mountaintop in that way. It totally depends on your mental space whether to dwell in peace or wage a civil war within yourself.

Incidentally, that statement is by Robert Pirsig, the author of the famous book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", and that is the kind of book you would immerse yourself in on lazy afternoons sitting in the shade of a quiet cafe amid the cool winter breeze blowing across the green fields.

Getting back on track, the whole stretch is looking at a great influx of international tourism come the vaccine, and that will be a good thing for travelers like me for reasons I will not discuss here. 

            I am living in the dorm at the Waterfalls Guesthouse since I arrived here this day last week. It is run by a local, unlike many other newer shacks in the region, called Ramanjaneya. The place doesn't have a camping ground which would've been useful as I carried my own tent, but it has other charms. During my stay so far, all I did was stare at the fields, trek through them, play in various water bodies and have really fun conversations. I am a bit limited in my adventures though because there is a fear of Leapords running free in the mountains (long story)

I am having my share of loneliness and self-loathing that goes without saying when travelling solo, but hey, I can write a book about all the really brilliant people I met so far in this trip and the crazy conversations I shared with them. Maybe half a book but the trip is also only halfway through as yet. I met a stand-up comic who gave up a big4 job to pursue the art fulltime. I met a Himachal-based guy who recently gave up a lucrative Delhi job to start teaching at a smalltime college in his hometown among the mountains. I have just ordered his first book from Amazon.

 And yesterday, I met these guys from B'lore who are with me now as I write this, tempting me to take these seeds with promises of an mind-blowing trip. 

        I moved to a new place yesterday, called the Wilderness. It has a camping ground where I pitched my tent. Wilderness is located further along the outskirts of the Sanapur village, and is definitely closer to "Wild" than other places.  The place has a tightrope on which you can walk, a guitar, daily bonfires, and many other shady ideas in the heads of the Mumbai guys running it (never mind the "boss" Thimma). They play a lot of hip-hop but will listen to rock as well. This place is more for the people (really) young at heart - which I am, yes I am. I could stay here for a year, all else equal, that's how much I like it.

Anyways, I tried those seeds the other day in the Waterfalls Guesthouse and it was a troublesome-trippy experience. I vomited earlier than others meaning I had a better time than the B'lore guys as I was clear out of hell sooner than I expected and I did bliss out for a good part of the day. But I have come to a decision that the whole trip is definitely not worth the horror show that my stomach has had to endure. No more of the world famous Hawaiian Rosewood seeds for me, thank you. Unless you have a more humane work around, of course.

Later that day, the vibe in the place felt a bit pushed and I felt the need to move on. So I walked straight for the Wilderness with my backpack. I haven't meditated as much as I would've liked to so far in the trip but this place is made for being calm and present and let us hope that will happen.

        Alright, let us make the "Things to Do" list for Hampi for a climax. Well, I don't know man, do you like to meditate by yourself and prefer to have a mountain to stare at when not doing so? Would you walk across paddy fields and trek through the mountains to reach a hidden gem of a place rather than ride a luxury car? Can you spend a week or two without much use for a phone or laptop or gossip? Maybe not gossip, it is more prevalent than mosquitoes which you can avoid with a repellant.

But you get the idea, if doing "nothing" is not your thing, then we have a point of departure.

I am here for almost another week. Maybe I will update this later on with what I have been up to. Maybe not.

(some pics with captions follow)

This is view from the Gowri Resort, right at the foot of Sanapur lake.

The view from the lake road.

This is the Sanaur lake levee in the background. and.. When the levee breaks, I'll have no place to stay.

I worked from the Waterfalls Guesthouse for a coule of days.

The landscape after a few minutes walk away from the the Waterfalls Guesthouse.

This is Sonu fron Nepal. I met this guy on a dirt road and then he took me to the Wilderness. We were like best friends from the get-go!

The crew at the Wilderness. One of them is a chef and is hiding something from the photo. The woodhouses are still being built.

This one is a Sunset, I think.

The garden/ campsite at the Wilderness.  I trekked up the mountain in the background and met a Sadhu who claimed many things and offered a Chillum hit in exchange for listening to his tiring tales. I made a lame excuse and came away - the nonsense is just not worth the high.

A view from one of the cafes, I think.

Wilderness cafe.

I spent many a beautiful hours at the shore of the Sanapur lake, in the company of my portable speaker.

The sunset at theTungabhadra. The Sun is actually visible as the red dot if you zoom in enough.

With my travel bag, chilling at the Gowri resort.