Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Of Marwadi Engagements and Brahmin Marriages


If you are an unsuspecting guest, you will be left a bit shaken by the conventions and traditions of Marwadis’ like I was shaken when I attended a Marwadi friends’ engagement just a couple of days back. There are so many things you can crack jokes on that you won’t even mind all the discomforts. And you will not be bored by looking at the expressionless Marwadi faces either. Because that amuses, too.

The concept of a Marwadi engagement is divided into two halves. Like a movie or a cricket match or something else with two equal divisions. The first half involves formalities involving the bride done by bridegrooms’ relatives in specific absence of the bridegroom. The second half is vice-versa. I am not sure whether it is a rule to decorate the bride first and go on to the groom in the second part or the sequence is decided in a coin toss. That wouldn’t surprise me.

It is a custom in India that the marrying couple take blessings of each and every elder who comes onto their path, by touching their foot/toes in traditional India style. The emphasis on this practice is huge in western states. The Marwadi customs, maybe to make it more lucrative for the young ones, have a mandate that every time this toe-touching blessing-taking happens, the elder should give some cash to the young one. And Marwadis being Marwadis give amounts starting from Rs 20 up to a maximum of Rs 100. In some cases, Rs 10 also. In this particular case, the collection of the groom crossed an amount of Rs 1500 from some 100 donors.

The most interesting, actually scary, part of a traditional Marwadi function is the Lunch. God knows how they eat that food but that is the least of concerns. I was accompanied by another Telugu guy and we were called up to eat. We were given a place on floor to sit. We sat, facing each other. Then they kept a plate in between us, served some Puri s and Curries and stuff and asked us to eat. Both of us. In one plate. In fact, people were eating in groups of four and five from one plate. I and my friend ate whatever Puri and curries we could, left out some dishes we could not identify as suitable for human consumption and got up lest anyone would force us to eat rice. I mean, how can two friends meeting after long time mix rice with curries and eat from that single plate without being embarrassed for life about it? Just the thought gave us the creeps.

Anyways, we thought it was a great system to follow for our Marwadi friend when he throws a marriage reception in some banquet hall. Banquet halls charge on basis on number of plates used and these guys use one place for half a dozen people. That’s a Marwadi-level saving of 80% on expenses! Let’s not think about the plight of that banquet hall owner.

I’ve also had the honor of going to a marriage I was not specifically invited to, too, but I am not the bragging kind.

PS: It’s my experience that Marwadi people are as kind hearted as it gets. Also they are very straight forward and a bit sensitive. But I cannot let that stop me from spreading these critical matters. Here’s to hoping they are sportive enough, too.

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