Writing on the go

Yeah, that's the deal now.

I decided, all of a sudden, that I will write on the go. No more doing it in the organized way - i.e. writing a draft, editing, coloring, deleting, writing all over again and doing everything in my lappy.. Because, well, the organized way turned out to be inefficient in this case. Too little turn around you see, not good for business.

And come to think about it, writing should be fun
Whenever you want to, it should be done
So why not fuck the norms and let it flow.. hun?

That didn't flow well, did it? So, I'll write on my device and see how fucked up it can get. And believe me, it can get quite so, especially when I am not in the most sober of conditions.

The very good news is that my intention of keeping it well edited is still intact. Slightly modified to fit in the new working style though.

Relocation

I am used to having people around me who complain, who are dissatisfied, regretting decisions and wanting change. Not many, but enough. If I used to come across as one of those kinds, I am not anymore!

After an eternity of wait, I do have a job in the domain that I want. A first step of sorts in the journey that I wanted to start on since long, even if a bit late. So, I’m quite happy if you haven’t noticed it yet. The job involves relocation to Pune from Hyderabad without much in terms of compensation for the same. The overall income did not change significantly either, considering everything. Which I am fine with. I was willing to agree to a lot lesser or worse. I just needed this job badly. But my employers being the professionals they are didn’t even try to short hand me. The offer was fair and accepted without much resistance on my part. I rarely find myself complimenting organizations but I must this time. This organization is really good. It is as good as it claims to be in its websites and policies. People here are actually worth taking the time out to find out more about. Many people here are above or equal to me in terms of intelligence and experience. It usually is not the case where I come from. I don’t need to inspire and look around for company here but live up to the standards already set. Motivations are right in front of me just in case I needed any. I am looking forward to growing. That is not usually my experience.

My family had trouble understanding the job change at the beginning. I mean I could have had a job with a great hike in pay if I didn’t shift the domain. Even at the same place with even better conditions. But you can’t have it all. You always make a choice. And I made mine long back, so I simply followed up. Then again, my family consists of my brother –who has gone through hell just to try his hand at what he believed (And returned with fire on his back), and my parents who know enough about me to trust me blindly. Therefore, there was not friction as much as sadness about my departure. Mainly because I never left home for long periods before. But even that was not for long because there was a circus called marriage in our house for two whole months until the day before I left. My brothers marriage was nothing short of hell for the family, except of course my brother. His troubles start where ours end.

I am at a new place with new faces and new work. That is another part of my excitement. I get to be alone and adapt to new environment. I get to concentrate on my new job. Work on my passions and goals rather than spend time the usual ways. I anticipate productive change. Pune is a good city, but the office is in the outskirts and I decided not to travel from the city but to take a PG right beside the office, in the same outskirts. Saves the logistics head-ache and gives me some walking distance to cover, which I like. Also the mental peace of knowing there is nothing else outside the room – nothing that would tempt me, pull me. Pune is a good city, but any other city would have made no difference to me (but I am lucky to get Pune, weather wise)

I tend to get a bit proud of myself concerning my adaptability. I know people who never travelled and those who travelled a lot. The people who travel a lot still do not necessarily enjoy it. They simply are used to adjusting. They are not really at home, away from home. People have trouble getting used to places, people, food, what not. Not me.

I am proud because that stuff does not bother me. I don’t need people to talk to. I can stay silent for hours on, even days without feeling disconnected, as long as I have a book to read or stuff to do. I am not prone to getting bored. Not at all, not in the near future. I am quite happy with a laptop or a book. An internet connection helps. And I don’t have a preferred food. I eat rice as well as chapatis as well as burgers and enjoy them too. I do not mean occasionally, as a staple food. The canteen of the PG I stay in serves tasteless food. The quality is all right but it is a torture of the taste buds. I didn’t even notice the first few days. I get so hungry by the time I come back from office that I am practically an animal while eating. Only when I had time and patience to notice did it strike me that there was no curd, that the curry was lame and the palak dal was really green sambar. Yet, a small pickle bottle solved all the problems in that regard.

I am self-sufficient if I am allowed to say so. In the sense that I am not emotionally dependant on particular places or foods - or to some extent people.

I do connect with people but I don’t feel the need to keep them in my presence or ‘touch’. A call a day to family is good enough. And a call a month if a close friend. Or two months. I am like that, nothing abnormal.

These days, I am enjoying having all time to my selfish self.  Really, it’s hard to describe the peace that I am going through. Mainly the peace of knowing that I don’t need any more changes for some time. That the uncertainty part is, at long last, over. The change I wanted is already here. Ah, and how much I wanted change! Now I just have to push and make the most. It is like looking down a road with its map in my hand. However hard the terrain may be, I know that the direction is right and all the bumps you endure will be worth the while. Even better, it will not be a road not taken.

The Need For NEW

I don’t ask much of life, I churn out enough out of myself, but it can’t take me for granted either. I need my share of excitement albeit small.

The need for something new is perpetual. At that, I feel I am better because I don’t depend on much for amusement and change. I download a few songs and it makes my day. Buying a new shirt keeps me happy for a week. Small things keep me going. Sometimes big things. But stagnation scares me. I MUST have something to look forward to continuously. It doesn’t matter if it is as immaterial as writing an article which is read only when I am writing it. 

PS: searching for 'the need for new' gave so many results: the need for new + a noun (like the need for new standards, ideas, and a lot of new things that are needed) but not one with the exact phrase. strange. There is a real need for just 'The need for NEW' results.

Change is..

Who cares what the fuck in the world change is (except the stupid videocon ad), I’ll just tell you how people change.

People change because the world around them changes. Some change for good. Some, for not so good. Though good or ‘not so good’ is relative, that’s an altogether distinct subject. Some forget faces. Some get used to forgetting faces. Some forget friends. Some get used to forgetting friends.

Getting used to forget is pathetic. Changing in such a way as to flee when people with you are in trouble is sick too. I know such people and hate them to the brim. Forgetting because you can’t remember is different. That’s me [;-). Can be because a person has too many things to remember (or forget). Maybe he is too fucked up. So it’s ok.

Most people change to survive. Our world, like nature, thrives on the concept of survival of the best. Practically. When the people surrounding a person get too good to cope with, he/she doesn’t have any alternative but to get good enough. Or else that person ends up a loser and the world doesn’t belong to losers, I tell you. You may have observed that when you meet an old friend and you realize that he hasn’t changed much; your instinct also tells you that he hasn’t grown much either. Mentally of course. This is not a hard rule to judge anyone but I’ve observed it.

So when someone was not the same guy you saw when he was your best friend, you’ve got to understand that he was almost forced to change if not tempted. If tempted, its bad that he changed. If forced, well get over with it. Those who change for the need must have changed usually to become a more complex person. Or a more uninviting, more unwilling. Or a more dynamic, extravagant. Or a more insecure, unreasonable person. But change doesn’t impliedly mean that the person is not in your range. It only means that your friend doesn’t behave the same way anymore given a situation (It can also mean that you are too dumb now :-P). Nevertheless, he is still your friend and you know how to deal with your friend – hang around.

Random Slapdash

A blank page looks nice. Like this blank page looked excellent before I started out this shit. But that is what this plain, blank page is about. That is the beauty. Beauty can be quite subjective. It can mean looks, brains, thoughts, intentions. Quite subjective indeed. Subjective as opposed to objective. Objectivity means that which doesn’t involve bias. Objective questions have only one answer, usually. May have many options but only one answer. Most of the entrance exams are objective these days. Which makes the execution of the exams very convenient.

Talking of exams, I wrote quite a few (And slept in the rest). And with a good passing rate too. From my experience I can say that preparation is the only alternative to cheating. Though cheating if applied could make your task much easier. But it comes with a higher risk which is implied in anything which promises easy returns. Risk in life is something which is to be endured. It is something which can be a disaster as well as an essence. Like risk, disaster is also inevitable. Not exactly inevitable because there might be someone who did not see life’s extremes yet. There is no guarantee that they might get a chance to see it in their lifetime. For people like that, life is more of a highway drive. But that highway is without any traffic or turnings. It’s like a video game with no game over. Quite boring.

Yes, I get bored rarely. Because I have things to do which are quite unnecessary. Doing things which are necessary is boring because you do it anyway. Not doing anything is boring too. So the only alternative left is doing things which are unnecessary (Also, not doing things which are necessary which is quite popular anyways). Like writing what I wrote. On this plain, beautiful page. Unnecessary things could vary from anything to even something! For instance, this blog is nothing (anything). But learning a guitar could be quite something. Which I plan to do. As I was planning to do from the last, what, two years.

Long time isn’t it, two years.. People change like hell in two years. People who were not in contact with me for the last two years say that I changed a lot. They say that after talking for five minutes or so. But if they spend a good week with me, they will change their minds. Because they will get an idea of the path that I went through to change the way I did. I bet this is the case with anyone. The funny thing is, I realized this thing, this logic about change, only when I was making this plain, blank page ‘beautiful’ – which, in turn, can mean many things.