Stuff - April 2015

Is life ever a destination? I always used to think that the journey is important not the destiny. Fuck no, that only works if you think death is a destination, otherwise it is just the journey until the end with a few landmarks on the way to measure the distance.

I see people who are so insecure about their lives, girls working in BPOs, college kids who don't know shit, walking around on roads. They are so confident while crossing. They do not care that it is a green signal and the vehicles are in a hurry. Everyone has to stop because they are too busy to be careful, to stand a minute in the pollution for the red, no. I have friends who have dogs with better sense. I am shit scared of crossing even a small lane.  I’d rather be on a vehicle than under it, thank you.

Death metal is the real deal man. Apparently, there is a song titled 'Cumming blood' or something to that effect, by none other than the ever-likeable cannibal corpse. Not saying it is weird. To the contrary, my contention is - anyone who can listen to that stuff, understand it, appreciate it and listen again has the mental capacity to achieve great things in life.. aaaand is probably high.

If you can work for a full day in office, get back home and have the intention of reading for 3 hours, it is not commitment and focus. It is the fear of writing the fucking exam the second time next year. It is fear, my friend. Apparently, I do not have enough of it.

If I failed the most important exam of my life - twice - because of random shit luck, I don't know if I could have handled it. I probably would have handled it, but I am not sure. I don't know because I never failed at anything really (yeah, I am boring). But my best friend did. She failed THE exam. Yet, she handled it as if it was a joke. She stood strong and shrugged it off like some dust on the collar. That is the real deal.

I live in a flat now with flat mates. They are so cool - no one shows their face except on an odd unlucky weekend. I could not have asked for a better deal. But the laundry is a problem every week. Couldn't they make formal clothes that work for a couple of months without maintenance.. like a bike or something.

So much for the being alive. I wish someone just made a food pill – you pop it in once in the morning and you are good until tomorrow. Some people live to eat. I confess doing that sometimes – some foods are to die for really (even with the guilt of killing animals). But many times, it really is a chore.

Vegetarianism is very interesting. If you remove the dogma of religious or cultural influence, it still makes sense. Maybe we do not have the right to cause such terrible pain to an animal after all. I am not bothered about killing an animal, which was farmed essentially to be killed. The real issue is the way these animals get treated while alive. Someday, I will have enough courage to give up eating meat. I mean, if I do not have the option of a food pill, you don’t expect me to suffer eating vegetables all the time! I would be in more pain than the animals, just inhuman.

And FC Barcelona is looking good, again \^^/. I am so mesmerized by Messi, every time he plays these days. 

Putting it Out There

Ø This is my first smart phone. Technically second, but given that I used that one for less than two weeks, this practically is my first smart phone (I have been using this for a month now). And its funny coz the first week or so, it seemed that the main purpose of having a smart phone is simply the phone. Managing that shit, customizing the Android, and taking advice from everyone who bought a smart phone before me.  It can start badly. But then maybe all the time I've spent on this thing will pay off over the years - if I don't lose it before then. Right now its most important use for me is playing online chess and watching some, er, videos. Coz face it, it's not possible to do any productive work on such a small thing, even as it is huge for a hand device. Desktops are being underrated currently. Even laptops don't provide the spacious feeling I get while using the detached keyboard of a lazy desktop. Sometimes old isn't really bad.

Ø When I see people still following IPL, it's as bad as they put it on that faking news joke. I mean what can they do. They lived all their lives watching that shit.  If it is good, they are just lucky - they will watch either ways. And there is nothing else to do other than watch cricket or porn for entertainment in India - porn is available in limited quantities. You can make navjot singh siddu stand there in middle of a pitch with a plastic bat and let him laugh, for like three hours, they'll watch - including the ads, there need not be a joke even.

Ø Recently I had an interview with a reputed bank. Profile wasn't what I was looking for but I still decided to have a go at the interview. Who knows, they may give me so much money that it doesn't matter how much the profile sucks. I should know better after all these years. As it turned out, I didn't give enough ough fucks to spend half an hour to revise the obvious basics. Standards for God's sake man. I did not even try to remember when they asked a question. I probably should not have gone to that thing is all.

Ø Ah, a lazy afternoon. I wish I had enough to afford a lazy afternoon once a while. 

The Need For NEW

I don’t ask much of life, I churn out enough out of myself, but it can’t take me for granted either. I need my share of excitement albeit small.

The need for something new is perpetual. At that, I feel I am better because I don’t depend on much for amusement and change. I download a few songs and it makes my day. Buying a new shirt keeps me happy for a week. Small things keep me going. Sometimes big things. But stagnation scares me. I MUST have something to look forward to continuously. It doesn’t matter if it is as immaterial as writing an article which is read only when I am writing it. 

PS: searching for 'the need for new' gave so many results: the need for new + a noun (like the need for new standards, ideas, and a lot of new things that are needed) but not one with the exact phrase. strange. There is a real need for just 'The need for NEW' results.

Random Slapdash

A blank page looks nice. Like this blank page looked excellent before I started out this shit. But that is what this plain, blank page is about. That is the beauty. Beauty can be quite subjective. It can mean looks, brains, thoughts, intentions. Quite subjective indeed. Subjective as opposed to objective. Objectivity means that which doesn’t involve bias. Objective questions have only one answer, usually. May have many options but only one answer. Most of the entrance exams are objective these days. Which makes the execution of the exams very convenient.

Talking of exams, I wrote quite a few (And slept in the rest). And with a good passing rate too. From my experience I can say that preparation is the only alternative to cheating. Though cheating if applied could make your task much easier. But it comes with a higher risk which is implied in anything which promises easy returns. Risk in life is something which is to be endured. It is something which can be a disaster as well as an essence. Like risk, disaster is also inevitable. Not exactly inevitable because there might be someone who did not see life’s extremes yet. There is no guarantee that they might get a chance to see it in their lifetime. For people like that, life is more of a highway drive. But that highway is without any traffic or turnings. It’s like a video game with no game over. Quite boring.

Yes, I get bored rarely. Because I have things to do which are quite unnecessary. Doing things which are necessary is boring because you do it anyway. Not doing anything is boring too. So the only alternative left is doing things which are unnecessary (Also, not doing things which are necessary which is quite popular anyways). Like writing what I wrote. On this plain, beautiful page. Unnecessary things could vary from anything to even something! For instance, this blog is nothing (anything). But learning a guitar could be quite something. Which I plan to do. As I was planning to do from the last, what, two years.

Long time isn’t it, two years.. People change like hell in two years. People who were not in contact with me for the last two years say that I changed a lot. They say that after talking for five minutes or so. But if they spend a good week with me, they will change their minds. Because they will get an idea of the path that I went through to change the way I did. I bet this is the case with anyone. The funny thing is, I realized this thing, this logic about change, only when I was making this plain, blank page ‘beautiful’ – which, in turn, can mean many things.