Bad

Every year, I start out thinking that this is going to be the break out year. I am going to break out of the shackles of mediocrity this year. To the next level. Not just me, my family, my circle of friends. My life. Where I’d want to be. This year, at the start, promised to be just that - more than any other year. Look, I took a good step career wise. Got another ‘semi’ qualification and was ready to face the music. Job opportunities of my interest would rise now. My bro, who was looking for a career change too, was prepared and ready to make it big. And then it happened. One after another. Slowly but surely - sometimes not so slowly - things fucked up.

First all the opportunities I thought I had slowly faded. One after another. Like a slow torture. Then, my bro’s turn came. GATE. The dream for which he worked the last two years. Not just his dream, but of all of us who were with him in it. The dream which was just a few days away from materializing. The few days passed. The D day came and my bro flunked big time. He now looks forward to a life time of regrets for not doing well in the three hours that mattered most. On the bright side, he dared and took his shot. And we all compromised on some level or another to give him that shot. Fair enough. If he has to complain, it will only be to himself.

As for me, another tragedy occurred, on an intimate level. FC Barcelona flunked. In all three big tournaments. Out of contention. Losing three big matches in one week. Again, the one week that mattered most. Like the one interview that mattered most to me - which I flunked.

And no progress whatsoever. None of my few friends really improved, to say the least.

Four months in, this is the worst year of my life. Well, maybe one of the worst. Bad things did happen before. But not on such a grand fucking level. Everything that can go wrong - goes wrong. Yes, went wrong. Probably not everything, but most of it. Believe me; it could have been even bad, even as that doesn’t seem possible. But some irreversible damage did happen. Not just taking all the opportunities with it, but the spirits too.

Did I mention the cherry on the top of all this shit? My bro is getting married. He really can take some beating.

An year to remember

Obviously, 31^st December is just notional. An ending or starting of an year, old or new, doesn’t really matter if you look at it in, you know, that way.

But look at it this way. In the past 365 (probably 250) days, my life changed in every sense. As people know, except the media, no one gives a damn about what happened to the world in last year. But what I have to say is my life changed too. In big ways - good and bad. That too in almost equal proportions. Maybe more of bad, but enough of good too!

I’ve passed the most important exam I was ever going to pass my whole life. That too without much fuss. Had the most terrible tragedy I was ever going to go through in my whole life just 15 days before giving that exam.

And then, things happened to me which changed how I look at the rest of my life (In a positive way). In a way, I would remember 2009 as a year in which I had experienced things which do not occur twice in a lifetime. So if I wanted to consider one year most dominant in this particular life, this year isn’t a bad choice.

By the way, the New Year doesn’t start for me after the night of this 31^st. It’s postponed for me it seems. The explanations for which I refuse to give!