Let’s just say India is the super power in place of US/UK. And our system is our advantage for a change. Two teens of US are talking (It could be UK teens too, there will just be more mate’s than dude’s in that case)
“Hey dude, have you heard, there is yet another scam in India after the Telecom thing, it’s about some CW Games, ever heard of it?”
“No. These Indians are awesome man; they totally make money out of nowhere. Wish I could go there and get into some kind of public unit”
“I mean come on; India is not at the top for no reason. If it were here, you’ll have to wage a war on some other country, kill a few million people and only then can you dream of making some wealth – That too if you are prepared to be a called a villain like Bush and there, all you have to do is to be born as a politicians kid. And you are the prince. No questions asked. Everything in India is awesome man. From the way they take shit to their music. Take have Teen maar and classical music – So extreme to each other and yet so fun and not making any sense whatsoever. We here have the Eminem Rap bitching about the Congress all the time. When are we going to learn from India that the best way to be is let the politics go their own way. Out there, the opposition is more worried about a ragged mosque-turned temple than who their fucking party leader is. Look at the Black money they are thinking of getting back from Swiss, they’ll get even richer then eh. Show me one American dollar outside the US huh? Even the sports they play rock man, even some loser like Irfan Pathan can earn millions and he doesn’t even know which IPL team picked him this time around! I am telling you India is the place to be. Anyways, That is so not the accent you want to have if you want to get abroad to Indian States. Start working on that accent. You’ll have to say ‘India’ with a stressed ‘D’ there”
“Yeah I know that. And you are forgetting about the languages they have, the cool words they use. Again what is ‘cool’ eh? Say ‘Bindass’ and that’s something. Heard of the word Kiraak? Its something new and it’s a rage out there. Bet it would be tough for us lads to get the same kick in those words as they do. Even they swear cool man, Fucker is nothing compared to them, they use the freedom of speech to the limits. And every region specializes in its own language and every language invariably has a minimum of zillion swear words inbuilt”
“Whats more, Bollywood as a rule rocks the world over anyways and with the new Shiela ki jawaani and Munni, its killing. I mean, you have the whole theater to yourself in a hall showing a movie of RGV. You can’t ask for more - Even if you are an Indian! Our fucked up workaholic directors will never understand that the job of a movie is to – keep it simple- provide a good afternoon’s nap at the minimum and any more privacy other than that is just patronage to the audience. Also, the scope for a script in India is so wide, all you have to do is take a case of failed justice like that of Jessica and you have a ‘critically applauded’ film. Wait a minute, you take a top hero, give him some stupid dance steps and a heroine and what do you get? Blockbuster Dabangg! Wonder where they get those awesome titles from. If that doesn’t blow you away, watch Robot, Only in India will something like that sell so much. Our Spiderman’s and Batman’s will have to go begging if they were in India. They are not efficient. Rajni will blow them away in a cough, literally!”
“Talking of ‘Heroes’, do you have any episodes of that shit in your sys? I am getting bored in the evenings”
“Dude, I only keep Bhabhi Bahu serials, get real man! Who watches the US series and reality shows these days when you have Indian versions for all of them. You will also find the funniest shows only in those channels these days. That guy named Navjot Siddu or something must be the dumbest guy on earth and people love him. Enough with that, here take some Roadies episodes and have a blast with the fake cries and drama.”
“You are Bindass man. And since you seem to know so much about the Indian system, tell me something. Why do they have an Economist as a PM when they have a guy like Lalu? I mean he took over the railways, for what – a year? And turned it to pure gold. Of course on paper that is, by false accounts. I mean, what else can you ask. If he were the PM, the rest of the government could go on a rampage of money laundering right? Why did they screw up on such a simple trick?”
“Indian politics isn’t as simple as using their ’bindass’ dude, Its complex and elaborate, you’ll have to go do some research to understand the reasoning of compromise and the behind the scene field work that goes into the running of such an efficiently corrupt system. There is a reason why many people in India don’t know what Wikileaks is yet. Damn if even our President understands those dynamics. Anyways I’ll leave. Tata mate”