An year to remember

Obviously, 31^st December is just notional. An ending or starting of an year, old or new, doesn’t really matter if you look at it in, you know, that way.

But look at it this way. In the past 365 (probably 250) days, my life changed in every sense. As people know, except the media, no one gives a damn about what happened to the world in last year. But what I have to say is my life changed too. In big ways - good and bad. That too in almost equal proportions. Maybe more of bad, but enough of good too!

I’ve passed the most important exam I was ever going to pass my whole life. That too without much fuss. Had the most terrible tragedy I was ever going to go through in my whole life just 15 days before giving that exam.

And then, things happened to me which changed how I look at the rest of my life (In a positive way). In a way, I would remember 2009 as a year in which I had experienced things which do not occur twice in a lifetime. So if I wanted to consider one year most dominant in this particular life, this year isn’t a bad choice.

By the way, the New Year doesn’t start for me after the night of this 31^st. It’s postponed for me it seems. The explanations for which I refuse to give!

Ask

Ask me why I write this blog..

I might say “just..”

You don’t really earn anything. So is it to gain others’ notice?

I firmly say “No way. I am too good to care.”

Why then?

“Just to, you know, because I want to write and it creates a stimulus for me.”

Vague answer. Hard to argue.

But next time you ask me that, I’ll have an answer – reasonable one. Thought of it just now.

“I write here so that after a few weeks or months or years, when I open this blog, i'll know what I was like at this time. Or i'll just get a good laugh in bad times or have something to be pissed off at in the good times.”

Yeah, I am an asshole..

To whoever survives 2012

Dear Fellow Human Being

Since you live, congrats. Don’t think high of yourself. No one else survived other than you and the rats. Which implies that you are as insignificant as a rat or maybe worst, bacteria.

Here is my list of things you ought to do. I could guess that you lost your job - for reasons other than the economic melt down. You can keep yourself busy by fulfilling this wish list of mine.

Well, get used to living by the idea of me not being around. I know it’s tough but don’t die. Because it doesn’t matter anyhow now.

1. First of all, why don’t you brush. So that you can concentrate on other things in this list. A neem stick (Indian Lilac if you are an English ass) is what you need since there’s no one left to manufacture a fucking paste for you!

2. Well, go out and look for a pet named puppy. If you find it, love it.

3. You might as well find some aliens roaming around freely, with no human beings to hide from. Don’t ask them any autographs, give them their space and they might let you live.

4. Next big thing, look for a female survivor. If it’s anything like a Hollywood movie you will find one. You might well be the next ‘savior’ i.e. the next Jesus if you did!

5. You know what to do with a female right! Of course this is in assumption that you are a male. It doesn’t really matter if you are a female and you found another female, whatever efforts you may put.

6. If you got a cam, take some pics of piles of dead bodies and rotten tomatoes. They’ll be fun to see later..

7. Don’t get pissed off if the debit card machine isn’t working. Asshole, what are you going to do even if it worked!

8. Whatever you do, do it fast. Don’t try to follow traffic rules. Not now!

9. By the way, puppy doesn’t really exist okay, I was just checking you out..

10. Lastly, if you have this letter in your hand but you are one of the stinking dead bodies, I hope you are not reading this.

Interview

This was the first time I attended a formal interview. It wasn’t exactly formal but they rejected me gently. So thought formal would suit the case.

And why did I go to the interview?

Well I am too bored with my current office with no one caring to shout even if I go regularly at 12 or 1 and leave without notice.

The salary is low too, but that is secondary.

This is what happened at the damn interview.

I went with the help of a referral, and I was made to stay back in the visitors lounge.

That was it. In my view that firm was already disqualified to have the honor of having me among its employees.

As if that wasn’t enough, a young guy aged around 30 comes up with a smiling face and takes me to a small cabin around the corner.

As if not satisfied from insulting me by the CEO not coming up to greet me, they had no AC in the place.

Then he made me sit in a small cushioned chair.

I shouted ‘Disgusting’

Actually, I thought of shouting ‘Disgusting’, but I had my dignity and composure to maintain. So I used my patience and said ‘Thanks’.

All that was one level but what happened next was too much even for so much of patience and humility I have at my disposal.

He was asking me questions. Yes, he was!

I decided to hang on, opposed to slapping him on the face and walking right out of the place.

Wait, that’s not it. He was asking me questions that I didn’t know!

Well, what kind of a business do they run without knowing that a single person can’t know all the things in the world?

Of course taxation was in my syllabus but I didn’t enact those stupid laws, did I?

Yeah accounting standards are must but you can learn them a bit late too, right?

I am telling you it was a pure waste of time to go all the way there, not to mention the fuel and other miscellaneous expenses..

I can’t but laugh at how insensible they were..

I mean come on, they didn’t even offer me some cool drinks or stuff!

Thank god they rejected me..

Otherwise I would have been forced to oblige their job offer, too nice to hurt other beings that I am.

love is..

What is love?

No one asked this question to me. I am not used to asking this question either..

But just got the thought..

Btw..

You don't define what love is. You don't listen to what love is either..

You either don't love or you do.

And when you do, you'll know. And you'll stop asking questions.

Change is..

Who cares what the fuck in the world change is (except the stupid videocon ad), I’ll just tell you how people change.

People change because the world around them changes. Some change for good. Some, for not so good. Though good or ‘not so good’ is relative, that’s an altogether distinct subject. Some forget faces. Some get used to forgetting faces. Some forget friends. Some get used to forgetting friends.

Getting used to forget is pathetic. Changing in such a way as to flee when people with you are in trouble is sick too. I know such people and hate them to the brim. Forgetting because you can’t remember is different. That’s me [;-). Can be because a person has too many things to remember (or forget). Maybe he is too fucked up. So it’s ok.

Most people change to survive. Our world, like nature, thrives on the concept of survival of the best. Practically. When the people surrounding a person get too good to cope with, he/she doesn’t have any alternative but to get good enough. Or else that person ends up a loser and the world doesn’t belong to losers, I tell you. You may have observed that when you meet an old friend and you realize that he hasn’t changed much; your instinct also tells you that he hasn’t grown much either. Mentally of course. This is not a hard rule to judge anyone but I’ve observed it.

So when someone was not the same guy you saw when he was your best friend, you’ve got to understand that he was almost forced to change if not tempted. If tempted, its bad that he changed. If forced, well get over with it. Those who change for the need must have changed usually to become a more complex person. Or a more uninviting, more unwilling. Or a more dynamic, extravagant. Or a more insecure, unreasonable person. But change doesn’t impliedly mean that the person is not in your range. It only means that your friend doesn’t behave the same way anymore given a situation (It can also mean that you are too dumb now :-P). Nevertheless, he is still your friend and you know how to deal with your friend – hang around.

Operating in an exam

After I finished writing my last exam, I made a resolution that, in case I pass, I am going to write an article on exams and the operational tips to avoid flunking them. But then, I had to know something which I did differently from others.

So now I think about it and realize that I can’t recollect anything which I did as a specialty. Then how did I pass out the exam in which people who, I believe, work more than me and who are more alert than me. The core of this question is ‘How did I study?’ or ‘How many days/ How much did I study?’ I didn’t count the number of people who asked me this question but many did.

I did not study as much as many people think I did. I am not as intelligent as many people think I am either. I don’t work hard by any means and for me discipline is bullshit. But I am clever in my own ways and studied logically. All I really had, or tried to have, is a good commitment as to what I was studying and the schedule I prepared. The best thing about preparing a time table was that though I never really completed any of my targets, I did well enough. In the end, it was just enough to clear the papers.

If that was not enough, ill tell some real time tips, not the kind you will hear from your parents!

1. Attempt all the questions whether you know the answer or not. No one can give you less than zero marks for an answer, whatever the shit you write.

2. Manage your time in the exam. Divide the total marks (like 100) with the whole exam minutes (like 180) and you’ll get the number of minutes you can spare on each mark. So for a 10 mark question, if you spend more than 15 or 18 minutes, you are out of the race.

3. Forget the decorations. Keep your formatting and organizing to the basic. Concentrate on the damn subject matter.

4. Write spaciously. This makes up for your scratches and your fucked up hand writing.

5. Write the question numbers correctly and verify them at the end. Crucial.

6. If you don’t do well in an exam, don’t fool yourself by thinking that it’s over. Forgive yourself and start preparing for the next exam.

7. Black ink looks good only in your notes. Use blue.

8. The most important thing about any theory paper is grammar and vocabulary. Not the length of the answers. Even the subject matter comes second.

The Art of Lying

Some people read this and joke that I am an expert. False. No, I am not faking. Swear.

There are few dimensions to lying. And a few precautions.

The precautions is where lying for me is an art. If you don’t know how to use a lie, it can be disaster and when used well, a truth is not even a comparison in terms of return! Also, you have to cover all angles like when you tell someone a lie which relates to another person, you better call up that person and tell him to act up when needed. Of course, you make up another lie to convince that person. Another precaution is taking the big picture into the account. You don’t want to make the mistake of losing the jackpot trying to save the ticket price.

A lie may be made up instantly. Or maybe thought out thoroughly. It may be an innocent one, meant to soothe others or just save your ass. Or it may be at the higher level like making a gain or saving your ass big time!

If you take my experiences, it is more often that the thoroughly thought out lies are bound to be decoded sooner than later. I can even propose a theory that the more thoroughly thought lies are of the higher levels with more at stake and hence more chances of a thorough review of the facts by whomsoever it concerns to. Also, the extra care while playing a lie brings with it extra doubts. A instantly made up lie when small in significance is anyways out of danger. But what I want to say is that the bigger lies too are quite safe from being figured out. This is because the lie is made up instantly, keeping in mind the past facts and their reliability of not being discovered. And the instantaneous approach, I believe, brings about a natural instinct to the flow of things which reduces the suspicion. There’s this joke about lying which I don’t remember and hence can’t tell you. Not that it has anything to do with the above theory. Well, the theory in itself doesn’t really matter because you know that you are reading bullshit anyways.

But there is more to lying than the need of it. It can be fun. It can be what they call bluffing. It can be told just for the heck of it. Or to bug someone. It’s like a small mental venture. No wonder I like it..

Celebrating Independence

Independence Day usually meant two things to me annually.

One, a guaranteed holiday.

Two, something to write about in the blog.

But this year, I am kind of facing a dilemma. That is because each year I used to have more working days than holidays, but this time, it had been a total turn around. Now, I have so many days off that I have to put up a schedule if I want to do some work on some day. Each year, I used to make the Independence Day special by

1. Sleeping till lunch.

2. Watching movies which inspire my patriotism.

3. Do nothing about it.

4. Sleep, wondering when the next holiday was up.

But now, as things changed I face the challenge to do something to make this August 15^th rememberable.

I can go to the flag hoisting program in my college but I decided not to because they sent a notice almost forcing us to attend it, which amounted to disregarding my fundamental right of freedom of whatever. Hence, I decided to avoid it by all means so that I do my bit to keep the constitution in force (who cares if it is outdated). Also, the chief guest is so old that the chances of him insulting the flag by dying in front of it, of a weird cough, are really significant.

So now I have to do something out of the routine on this Saturday just for the heck of it. And here is my revised time-table for that day. Beware; this can be too surprising for you to digest.

1. Wake up at 6.

2. Play cricket in the dust till lunch.

3. Do not watch movies which inspire my patriotism.

4. Do nothing about not being patriot-zed.

5. Sleep, wondering when the hell is the next working day.

Spread The Joy

Like it’s a Swine Flu virus.

Like it’s a joke about your lecturer’s accent.

Like you just don’t need it and people are thrash bins.

Like it’s cheaper than your father’s chappals.

Like it’s your birthday and you are filthy rich.

Like the world is waiting for your shit.

Like it’s tax free.

Like it’s rotten bread.

Like the news of the world ending in 2012.

Like there are no laws governing it.

Like you are getting paid for it.

Like people don’t hate you so bad after all..

Like you are a virus infected C D.

Like no rumors are left.

Like it’s the only joke that works for you.

Like you actually care.

Random Slapdash

A blank page looks nice. Like this blank page looked excellent before I started out this shit. But that is what this plain, blank page is about. That is the beauty. Beauty can be quite subjective. It can mean looks, brains, thoughts, intentions. Quite subjective indeed. Subjective as opposed to objective. Objectivity means that which doesn’t involve bias. Objective questions have only one answer, usually. May have many options but only one answer. Most of the entrance exams are objective these days. Which makes the execution of the exams very convenient.

Talking of exams, I wrote quite a few (And slept in the rest). And with a good passing rate too. From my experience I can say that preparation is the only alternative to cheating. Though cheating if applied could make your task much easier. But it comes with a higher risk which is implied in anything which promises easy returns. Risk in life is something which is to be endured. It is something which can be a disaster as well as an essence. Like risk, disaster is also inevitable. Not exactly inevitable because there might be someone who did not see life’s extremes yet. There is no guarantee that they might get a chance to see it in their lifetime. For people like that, life is more of a highway drive. But that highway is without any traffic or turnings. It’s like a video game with no game over. Quite boring.

Yes, I get bored rarely. Because I have things to do which are quite unnecessary. Doing things which are necessary is boring because you do it anyway. Not doing anything is boring too. So the only alternative left is doing things which are unnecessary (Also, not doing things which are necessary which is quite popular anyways). Like writing what I wrote. On this plain, beautiful page. Unnecessary things could vary from anything to even something! For instance, this blog is nothing (anything). But learning a guitar could be quite something. Which I plan to do. As I was planning to do from the last, what, two years.

Long time isn’t it, two years.. People change like hell in two years. People who were not in contact with me for the last two years say that I changed a lot. They say that after talking for five minutes or so. But if they spend a good week with me, they will change their minds. Because they will get an idea of the path that I went through to change the way I did. I bet this is the case with anyone. The funny thing is, I realized this thing, this logic about change, only when I was making this plain, blank page ‘beautiful’ – which, in turn, can mean many things.

One Day, Worth A Life

What if you have just one day to live?

One day and that’s it. Is it enough?? Enough or not? And for what?!

What do you do with the last Twenty four hours of the end..?

What do you do if you know that all that counts is this? This is it..

With whom will you spend it with..?

Family, Friends.. With whom..? Can you choose..?

And what if no one is left for you?

What if all that is left of you is you? Just you..

What if thoughts are all you have to spend for the longest Twenty four hours of your life?

Or shortest..? What do you think?

What if all the thoughts that come across are not good enough to be thought about?

Have you done deeds worthy of a life? Yet??

What if all the relations you had are not worth mentioning in the shortlist?

What if there is no short list? What if it is too short?

Can you bear the pain that all you have done is survive?

You just managed to survive.. Thats it? You did not live, did you?!

Is your life worth a drop of tears? At least your tears?

Do you have the time to weep now? Or is it too short?

What if you haven’t done enough to make yourself laugh now?

Or at least to smile? Is your life worth a smile? Of yours?

Did you work to achieve what others did not? Did you discharge your duty?

Is that how you count your life? What if ‘others’ are irrelevant now?

Survived by working. Working your life out..

And lived by? What? Did you have time to live then? When you had more time?

Maybe your friends were right that you did not keep touch..

Maybe your family was right that you were late from work and did not eat on time..

Maybe they meant a lot more than keeping touch and eating..

Maybe they meant living..? Did they?

What if the last thoughts you have are those of dismay and disgust?

Do you want to ask for one more chance?

One more chance to live it differently.. Without mistakes..?

Or maybe with mistakes.. Ones that are meant to be made? Maybe you know them now..

What if all you wanted until now is not what counts? Lost the count?

Were you too late to realize what you want? Late by a lifetime?

Were you too perfect for life?? Too good to risk??

Maybe too good to dare and ask.. huh?? Asking a bit too late now..

Maybe you should have done this a bit earlier?

This questioning and depreciating.. This killing..

Did you realize yet that you still have a bit of life to make up the count.. One day..

One day, worth a life.. Or is it?