Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Scribbling

This was the first time. It had to happen sometime. What with me so careless or casual depending on time. It was a split second. Probably a minute. But I knew it just after one moment after it happened.
The worst part was the mini-moment when I really felt the insecurity, of losing my wallet in an unknown terrain like Delhi. My wallet was picked. I almost took a quarter of an hour to reassure myself that nothing terribly important was in it.
The thief didn’t do a great job. I would have caught his hand with my purse some other day. He got lucky.
That purse had many things. Stupid and important. And the stupidly important.
Cash and Licenses, Debit card and keys were important. A non-functional sim card and some redundant visiting cards were the stupid.
But what I miss the most is the Stupidly important. A piece of paper. It was the ticket of my first flight. But that was not what it was.
That piece of paper had 2 hours of my life. An important 2. It had my thoughts scribbled on it when there was nothing else to do on the plane when the mobile was tabooed and the world seemed to stop even though I was travelling at plane speed.
It had a To-do list. I certainly will not finish most of the To-do’s till the next year and a half but I need that list like hell.
It had what I could think of in an hour of pure blank mind. With no luxury of distractions. Not even a bad company to disturb me. Four articles. Meant to be in this blog. Priceless. It was an hour of productivity.
Now when I think of it, I can’t remember anything I wrote, just the reason why those thoughts must have been really awesome.
Lesson learnt the hard way. Have a back up. Even for something which you will take care of as your precious.
Of course, now I’ll have this excuse to use against everyone asking me to bring something from Delhi. But pros don’t even compare to the cons.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Frustations

The fact that I am doing this..
That I compromised..
That I once thought I wouldn’t do auditing for the world..
And that I have to get out of this..
And that it doesn’t change the fact that I did this.

The fact that I just try not to think about those whom I can help..
That I am afraid to look them in the eye..
The fact that I didn’t even cry..
That I cant find a soothing word for them at least..

The fact that I get too busy..
That its not worth it..
The fact that I forget too soon..
But people have many ways of taking it..

The fact that my friends are not as well off..
And that I’ll never help them when they cant help themselves..

The fact that a new home comes with an age old baggage..
And that it may surface too late..
The fact that I don’t have the freedom to struggle..
That I am taking the easy way out not knowing whether I want to..

The fact that I cant think of anything for this blog..
That I had somehow lost that on the paths..
The fact that I came down to the level where I could say that..
The fact that things need changing..
That I must make the changing..
That I am not sure a bit..

A simple world isn’t there for the taking..
The fact that I have to make it happen..