The Irony
I was browsing through the
Hyderabad Public Library in Chikkadpally yesterday (mainly because I was
waiting for someone) when I found the Income Tax Ready Reckoner for FY 2010-11
in the ‘Fictitious Novels’ section. There are two explanations for this:
a. The
person-in-charge of the public library, who is supposed to be dumb, is dumb.
b. The
person-in-charge of the public library, who is supposed to be dumb, is smart
and knows that that law belongs there. This is wishful thinking because it is
unlikely that a bureaucrat has a sense of humor of that level.
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| It pays to know the other side.. |
The
curious case of Indian Laws
In India, it is not just
difficult to do things by the book, it is many times impossible. The reality of
regulatory framework at the ground zero level is horrible. The frustrations that
genuine people face when trying to get some work done via a bureaucratic system
is beyond the scope of any statistical measure. But then, here and here are the
statistics.
The seeds of corruption are
sown at the stages of drafting of laws. It seems like the bureaucrats pay the
law makers (who are again bureaucrats) to just be oblivious to the practical
world. So, many things are left unanswered and vague. Our laws do not have red
tapes, our laws are embedded into red tapes. You need to satisfy some officer
for everything and there are no objective rules on when he is supposed to be
satisfied. Sometimes, it makes you feel whatever you do is not going to be good
enough to satisfy the ignorant obnoxious bureaucrat, he can give an order
against you despite everything being right on your side. He can still say ‘I
don’t give a fuck’ and you have nowhere to go – either you buy your way out of
the shit or you go to the courts against the bureaucrat and get into deeper
shit – which is not cheaper.
A day in my life:
I have to deal with the
Hyderabad Sales Tax department on a daily basis. This involves completing tasks
ranging from getting clean orders on our company sales tax scrutiny’s to
getting refunds which is practically our money owned by the government. Not
getting into nitty-gritties of what I have to get my hands into, I can say it
is tiresome in the sense that things just don’t get done. You can have
everything ready but the lazy bastard doesn’t even show up to sign an order –
even when I am ready to pay him for that. He isn’t busy; he just wants to show
his worth so that the next time, I pay him more. And that is just one signature
out of the half a dozen others I have to buy to complete one cycle. I am not
making this up, I am currently lobbying on an application since the last 10
months. It was supposed to be done in 1 month. I deal with all kinds of revenue
departments and none of them is any better.
The Unwritten Law
Bureaucrat is the boss. You
request him, even beg him, to let you show your gratitude towards him by
offering him bribes and gifts. You hope that he accepts your offer, you hope
that he doesn’t put up a counter-offer. And all this to get things done, which
should have been done without your knowledge. We are talking about a person who
barely passed his graduation probably by bribing his college and then wrote a
civil’s or groups exam and bribed his way to this dusty bench. And you, after
having worked your ass off to pass your exams, after attending a thousand
interviews before being selected for one, after doing all the work that the
ignorant pig was supposed to do, have to go to his office and beg him (quite
literally)
But then, given the state of
our regulations, this is preferred. I’d rather bribe him and get it done than
not getting it done at all. Believe me, there is no other alternative. The
bureaucrat is not as dependent on it as the people giving the bribes. I,
personally cannot afford to have an officer who doesn’t accept bribes. Because
a person who has stopped accepting bribes doesn’t suddenly become honest. He
just becomes a bigger asshole. He has the law on his side. So YOU must find a
way to bribe him without making him feel corrupt. The other alternative is
shutting down your business and starve.
Corruption isn’t the system we
want right now, but it is something we cannot live without.