Putting it Out There

Ø This is my first smart phone. Technically second, but given that I used that one for less than two weeks, this practically is my first smart phone (I have been using this for a month now). And its funny coz the first week or so, it seemed that the main purpose of having a smart phone is simply the phone. Managing that shit, customizing the Android, and taking advice from everyone who bought a smart phone before me.  It can start badly. But then maybe all the time I've spent on this thing will pay off over the years - if I don't lose it before then. Right now its most important use for me is playing online chess and watching some, er, videos. Coz face it, it's not possible to do any productive work on such a small thing, even as it is huge for a hand device. Desktops are being underrated currently. Even laptops don't provide the spacious feeling I get while using the detached keyboard of a lazy desktop. Sometimes old isn't really bad.

Ø When I see people still following IPL, it's as bad as they put it on that faking news joke. I mean what can they do. They lived all their lives watching that shit.  If it is good, they are just lucky - they will watch either ways. And there is nothing else to do other than watch cricket or porn for entertainment in India - porn is available in limited quantities. You can make navjot singh siddu stand there in middle of a pitch with a plastic bat and let him laugh, for like three hours, they'll watch - including the ads, there need not be a joke even.

Ø Recently I had an interview with a reputed bank. Profile wasn't what I was looking for but I still decided to have a go at the interview. Who knows, they may give me so much money that it doesn't matter how much the profile sucks. I should know better after all these years. As it turned out, I didn't give enough ough fucks to spend half an hour to revise the obvious basics. Standards for God's sake man. I did not even try to remember when they asked a question. I probably should not have gone to that thing is all.

Ø Ah, a lazy afternoon. I wish I had enough to afford a lazy afternoon once a while. 

Bad

Every year, I start out thinking that this is going to be the break out year. I am going to break out of the shackles of mediocrity this year. To the next level. Not just me, my family, my circle of friends. My life. Where I’d want to be. This year, at the start, promised to be just that - more than any other year. Look, I took a good step career wise. Got another ‘semi’ qualification and was ready to face the music. Job opportunities of my interest would rise now. My bro, who was looking for a career change too, was prepared and ready to make it big. And then it happened. One after another. Slowly but surely - sometimes not so slowly - things fucked up.

First all the opportunities I thought I had slowly faded. One after another. Like a slow torture. Then, my bro’s turn came. GATE. The dream for which he worked the last two years. Not just his dream, but of all of us who were with him in it. The dream which was just a few days away from materializing. The few days passed. The D day came and my bro flunked big time. He now looks forward to a life time of regrets for not doing well in the three hours that mattered most. On the bright side, he dared and took his shot. And we all compromised on some level or another to give him that shot. Fair enough. If he has to complain, it will only be to himself.

As for me, another tragedy occurred, on an intimate level. FC Barcelona flunked. In all three big tournaments. Out of contention. Losing three big matches in one week. Again, the one week that mattered most. Like the one interview that mattered most to me - which I flunked.

And no progress whatsoever. None of my few friends really improved, to say the least.

Four months in, this is the worst year of my life. Well, maybe one of the worst. Bad things did happen before. But not on such a grand fucking level. Everything that can go wrong - goes wrong. Yes, went wrong. Probably not everything, but most of it. Believe me; it could have been even bad, even as that doesn’t seem possible. But some irreversible damage did happen. Not just taking all the opportunities with it, but the spirits too.

Did I mention the cherry on the top of all this shit? My bro is getting married. He really can take some beating.