You've earned it

I don't have much to write these days because all that I have to say has already been said by Alan Watts decades back, goddamit. If only he did not exist! I would have had so much original stuff to talk about and then bask in the light of my wisdom properly appreciated. Nevermind that any worthwhile thing I have to say, I have learnt from him goddamit.

In fact let me set the record straight for all the non-believers you. I write regularly. A lot indeed. Of course most of it is too filthy to be published. Or even written down in good detail indeed. Some of the wiser stuff is too wise to put into words. And much of it is simply beyond the understanding of lay readers like yourself, let's be honest here. So I don't even bother writing it down. My time is precious if you don't mind. 

Nevertheless, here is an important thing. If you are doing something bad or filthy or utterly disgusting. If it is so bad that you don't even dare recognise the fact that you enjoy it more than anything else. If it sets your beats going. If it gives you goosebumps just thinking of how improper it is. Then, my advice is to you is to do it properly. Enjoy it totally. As if you have earned it. As if it's your destiny, that filthy thing that you do. As if no that's no one else's fucking business, goddammit. 

Of course you can keep it as private as you like. I know I do. Dont even let your closest persons know. Because you have the right to keep somethings private even if you haven't earned that right ever, in your humble opinion. Because you've earned it by birth.

But then, don't insult your Darkside by feeling guilty about it or lying to yourself about how you will quit it and won't look back. Maybe you will. Maybe this is the very last time. But then, give this last time the respect it deserves. Enjoy it properly. As if you've earned it. 

And Alan Watts would say the same thing, only a bit more elegantly.

And lets not fuck around, this isn't the last time you will enjoy it. Not even the next time. Or the one after that!