MEN are from MARS, WOMEN are from VENUS. So where did Children POP UP from?

John Grey gave 101 ways to 'SCORE' with d other sex in his over-rated book.. i found it more funny than useful..n this is why!!

On the left, ull find what the author 'advised' - On the right i have my own comments or additions or you'll find out!

And all this is just for fun, no offence meant. Learn to take things Easy phattoooooooo..(maybe i shud've inserted this disclaimer at the end of d article.. ;-))
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101 Ways to Score Points With A Woman

1.Upon returning home, find her first before doing anything else and give her a hug. - Even before going to the toilet?

2. Ask her specific questions about her day that indicates an awareness of what she was planning to do. (e.g., "How did your day go? Did you have fun at the mall?") - And "Whom did you have fun with?"!!

3. Practice listening and asking questions. - Have a trial run in front of the mirror

4. Resist the temptations to solve her problems. - If you are tempted that is!

5. Give her twenty minutes of unsolicited, quality attention (don't read the newspaper or be distracted by anything else during this time). - Match on the TV must be an exception for sure

6. Bring her cut flowers as a surprise as well as on special occasions. - Cactus will do?

7. Plan a date several days in advance, rather than waiting for Friday night and asking her what she wants to do - Several in the sense?

8. If she generally makes dinner or if it is her turn and she seems tired or really busy, offer to make dinner. - Keep a poison bottle ready for such occasions..

9. Compliment her on how she looks - Jhooth bolna seekh lo

10. Validate her feelings when she is upset. - Like " Yeah you have every reason to be upset so carry on"??

11. Offer to help her when she is tired. - But make sure you don't sound serious..

12. Schedule extra time when traveling so that she doesn't have to rush. - N also so that u don't forget HER..

13. When you are going to be late, call her and let her know. - Just in case you want to return back seriously.

14. When she asks for support, say yes or no without making her wrong for asking. - Obviously say NO

15. Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her "I'm sorry you feel hurt." Then be silent; let her feel your understanding of her hurt. Don't offer solutions or explanations why her hurt is not your fault. - Even if the fault is actually yours?

16. Whenever you need to pull away, let her know you will be back or that you need some time to think about things. - Don't do it.. it may be your only chance to a easy divorce!!

17. When you've cooled off and you come back, talk about what was bothering you in a respectful, non-blaming way, so she doesn't imagine the worst. - Well, let her imagine the worst na..after all TODAY'S IMAGINATIONS ARE TOMORROWS REALITIES

18. Offer to build a fire in wintertime. - As i told u .. just OFFER!!

19. When she talks to you, put down the magazine or turn off the TV and give her your full attention. - You seriously mean it?!!

20. If she usually washes the dishes, occasionally offer to wash the dishes, especially if she is tired that day. - Don't make it a habit though.

21. Notice when she is upset or tired and ask what she has to do. Then offer to help by doing a few of her "to do" items. - When does she not look upset btw?

22. When going out, ask if there is anything she wants you to pick up at the store, and remember to pick it up. - But the problem is they don't sell those diamonds at the local general store..

23. Let her know when you are planning to take a nap or leave. - Take her permission in writing

24. Give her four hugs a day. - If you manage to meet that many times that is!!

25. Call her from work to ask how she is or to share something exciting or to tell her "I love you." - Do it after all it is the OFFICE phone.

26. Tell her "I love you" at least a couple of times every day. - Thank god he didn't say couple of times a hour

27. Make the bed and clean up the bedroom. - 'll do that enthusiastically i know. Its the most important part after all!!

28. If she washes your socks, turn your socks right side out so she doesn't have to. - so is it already decided who washes the socks?

29. Notice when the trash is full, and offer to empty it. - Only trash, don't take her along with it!!

30. When you are out of town, call to leave a telephone number when you can be reached and to let her know you arrived safely. - Don't do it..let her be happy for sometime dude..

31. Wash her car. - SILLY!!

32. Wash your car and clean up the interior before a date with her. - Why don't you take a bath too for a change???!!!

33. Wash before having sex or put on a cologne if she likes that. - WELL.. Reader discretion recommended here!!

34. Take her side when she is upset with someone. - So that you wont be hurt!!

35. Offer to give her a back or neck or foot massage (or all three). - Other parts must be strained too..savvy?

36. Make a point of cuddling or being affectionate sometimes without being sexual. - Is that possible?

37. Be patient when she is sharing. Don't look at your watch. - Mobile is an exception

38. Don't flick the remote control to different Channel's when she is watching TV with you. - Or else she might snatch it away!

39. Display affection in public. - Show off that you two are STILL together!!

40. When holding hands don't let your hand go limp. - Oh come on, its involuntary

41. Learn her favorite drinks so you can offer her a choice of the ones that you know she already likes. - Write it down instead

42. Suggest different restaurants for going out; don't put the burden of figuring out where to go on her. - Yeah dont put the BURDEN of going out at all..

43. Get season tickets for the theater, symphony, opera, ballet, or some other type of some other type of performance she likes. - Don't forget to take madam's appointment before hand.

44. Create occasions when you both can dress up. - Dress up 'each other'?

45. Be understanding when she is late or decides to change her outfit. - No additions..that's a good enough joke i assume!!

46. Pay more attention to her than to others in public. - Bit difficult i guess..

47. Make her more important than the children. Let the children see her first and foremost. - Obviously shes already more important..who cleans all that shit up if she's not present???

48. Buy her little presents- like a small box of chocolates or perfume. - Or a match box..

49. Buy her an outfit (take a picture of your partner along with her sizes to the store and let them help you select it). - Maybe you can save some cash that way!

50. Take pictures of her on special occasions. - Pictures in what positions?

51. Take short romantic getaways. - Make sure they are short so that your partner doesn't doubt you!!

52. Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it from time to time. - Update it with her Friends' pics?

53. When staying in a hotel, have them prepare the room with something special, like a bottle of champagne or sparkling apple juice or flowers. - How about using a COLOGNE here?

54. Write a note or make a sign on special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays. - Sign on what? toilet paper???

55. Offer to drive the car on long trips. - Don't use that trick if you your going by plane..

56. Drive slowly and safely, respecting her preferences. After all, she is sitting powerless in the front seat. - Is that an advice or INSULT?

57. Notice how she is feeling and comment on it- "You look happy today" or "You look tired"- and then ask a question like "How was your day?" - Remember the order of the questions..there is a possibility of messing up here!!

58. When taking her out, study in advance the directions so that she does not have to feel responsible to navigate. - Recollect that if you had studied for any of your exams in advance you wouldn't have had the problem of studying the directions here coz you would hired a driver

59. Take her dancing or take dancing lessons together. - Maybe let her go alone, so that both of you will learn something!!

60. Surprise her with a love note or poem. - Why down you chill up.. if you were good enough why did she fall for her office crush!!

61. Treat her in ways you did at the begging of the relationship. - Well, you cant repeat the same mistake again. Can you?

62. Offer to fix something around the house. Say "What needs to fixed around here? I have some extra time." Don't take on more than you can do. - Yeah..screws in her head are seriously out of place!!

63. Offer to sharpen her knives in the kitchen. - And reduce the population in the kitchen with the sharpened knives..

64. Buy some good SuperGlue to fix things that are broken. - SuperGlue??? What the F**K

65. Offer to change light bulbs as soon as they go out.

66. Help with recycling the trash. - Please don't ignore environment-conscious advices ;-)

67. Read out loud or cut out sections of the newspaper that would interest her. - Cut out sections of her instead and the newspaper editor will be more interested.

68. Write out neatly any phone messages you may take for her. - Anything else, Ma'am?

69. Keep the bathroom floor clean and dry it after taking a shower. - More reasons to buy a new hair dryer!!

70. Open the door for her. - And close as soon as she gets lost!!

71. Offer to carry the groceries. - Now he'll advice you to carry d luggage

72. Offer to carry heavy boxes for her. - N pack it for her??

73. On trips, handle the luggage and be responsible for packing it in the car. - Oh now i have started guessing right!!

74. If she washes the dishes or it is her turn, offer to help scrub pots or other difficult tasks. - Do you mean they are really difficult?

75. Make a "to fix" list and leave it in the kitchen. When you have extra time do something on that list for her. Don't let it get out too long. - The trick is to make the list and forget it, so that she learns how to do it in your absence :)

76. When she prepares a meal, compliment her cooking. - Actually don't learn to lie but make it a habit..

77. When listening to her talk, use eye contact. - Only EYE contact?

78. Touch her with your hand sometimes when you talk to her. - Of course with your hands..you naughty!!

79. Show interest in what she does during the day, in the books she reads and the people she relates to. - Are you telling me to be suspicious?

80. When listening to her, reassure her that you are interested by making little noises like as ha, uh-huh, oh, mmhuh, hmmmm. - And like 'CHUUUUUUUUU TOMMY,Nai..'

81. Ask her how she is feeling. - She's feeling like kicking your ass off

82. If she has been sick in some way, ask for an update and ask how she is doing or feeling. - Shez feeling like shit and your presence only worsens it!!

83. If she is tired offer to make her some tea. - With some added flavours like..

84. Get ready to go to sleep together and get in bed at the same time. - What did you expect huh?

85. Give her a kiss and say good-bye when you leave. - The author apparently watches a lot of Hollywood movies..

86. Laugh at her jokes and humor. - And then you can laugh at the the fact that you have actually managed to laugh at those jokes..or that's what he calls 'em..

87. Verbally say thank you when she does things for you. - So as to encourage her to interfere again??!!

88. Notice when she gets her hair done and give her a reassuring compliment. - Reassure that this one is as bad as the previous one!! I mean the mirror!! lolz

89. Create special time to be alone together. - Alone or together? puhleeeeez don't confuse people.. [:-(

90. Don't answer the phone at intimate moments or if she is sharing vulnerable feelings. - Not even your girlfriend's call.

91. Go bicycling together, even if it's just a short ride. - The shorter, the better!!

92. Organize and prepare a picnic. (Remember to bring to picnic cloth.) - And remember to forget your patner

93. If she handles the laundry, bring the clothes to the cleaners or offer to do the wash. - You can't be so obvious. can you?

94. Take her for a walk without the children. - And let them do the cleaning if its your turn!!

95. Negotiate in a manner that shows her that you want her to get what she wants and you also want what you want. Be caring, but don't be a martyr. - Being MARTYR is out of trend anyhow

96. Let her know that you missed her when you went away. - 'Escaped her' would be apt..

97. Bring home her favorite pie or dessert. - And who is going to pay the fucking bill???

98. If she normally shops for the food, offer to do the food shopping. - Especially coz you eat More than half of it..

99. Eat lightly on romantic occasions so that you don't become stuffed and tired later. - Later??? Can't you be specific?

100. Ask her to add her thoughts to this list. - You actually thought anyone is gonna read this list seriously?

101. Leave the bathroom seat down. -Now that's a joke in itself and the best of all!!